Every night, I can't help but feel stuck. I'm stuck between everything. Friends, family, decisions, hopes. I can't figure out what happened to me. I feel like killing myself but I know that it's not the best way to end all of it. I might seem to lose hope but I'm not giving up so fast. Sometimes I feel like I'm lost. Nowhere to go, alone, everybody just seemed so unclear. I feel like a rolling stone headed with no direction.
I feel like going to the beach where I feel calm and safe. I just can't find time. I wanted to be alone but it's just that people always finds me. I wanted to escape but they always finds me. I lost my way. How could it happen? I hate it. I hated myself so much for losing my way. It's just I don't feel like it's me anymore. I felt like I'm a total wrecked person I've ever was.
I keep on telling myself what happened to me but it's not that I didn't know the answer. The truth is I just don't wanna remember all of the sadness I've felt. The loneliness that I buried in me just keeps on coming back. Every heartbeats pounds heavy and I feel like losing my breath. It's like I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing. I always felt alone and lonely sometime. I feel like I'm dying.
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