Wow. I am amazed on how long I didn't post here. It's been too long since I wrote something and now I finally had the courage to post something, again. I don't know why I decided to blog again but I'm here to find out why, again. So much has happened but I'm still here. I'm here now. Despite my not-so-busy schedule, I will make sure to write something to make up for the lost time that I've had since I last wrote. Hopefully, I would be able to maintain my blog once again.

I'm lost for words. I don't know what to say. All I know is that I wanna write some more. I wanna write something but I don't know how to start. I know that I'm not really making sense but that's just me. I'll probably blog about my frustrations, thoughts, rants, feelings or what ever you would like to call it here. I cannot write what has happened to me for the past few months of my hiatus-ness because that would take time and I only started posting today so expect that in the next few days I'll fill my blog up with nautical non-sense. Hehe.

Cheers!

Second semester is about to start and I haven't been able to fix my sleeping schedule/body clock. I've always been like this during breaks. I sleep late and woke up late. I keep on reasoning to myself that it's because I only had two weeks break because of the defense and not three like my other classmates. I'm torn about how to do things first. If I read a book, watch TV series, or play video games. I have been procrastinating, eating, and sleeping the past few weeks.

I cannot believe I haven't finished a book yet. I still have three books to read and I'm not gonna be able to read it all but I must finish one book at least. I haven't gone to the gym since the break because the supplements I bought was about to get empty and I don't have any money to buy again. But I am doing my best to be at help here in the house when they need me, kinda. Sometimes I'm in bed all day I don't know what has gotten into me. 

I remember singing again for the first time in a long time the song of Florence + The Machine's dog days are over cover of Glee. I just feel singing it since the semester had gone already and I passed all my subjects and I could rest all I want and not think of anything school related or get texts and updates of my classmates about what's happening. Singing it was such a release. 

First semester had already been gone and second semester is just days from now but before anything else I just want to thank God for all the blessings that he has given me for the last semester. I couldn't have done it without his guidance and help. I almost gave up in one of my subjects last semester but because I have this purpose, I kept going and thank God I passed all of my subjects. I would imagine the disappointment of my parents and siblings if I have one or two failed subjects. But thank God I all I saw was contentment and endearment.

Also because our defense went well and our product concept got approved by our professors who are also our panelist that day. We really had good critiques and good constructive criticisms and minor revisions. All of the sleepless nights and waking up early were worth it. I remember not telling my mother about our defense and telling her later when the grades come out because I was worried I might fail one or two subject but thank God i didn't. I remember her saying something bad about me that I only help her because I want something, sometimes. 

I remember not saying anything about our defense because I didn't want her to say that I'm making up some kind of excuse. And besides I wanted to focus on the presentation tomorrow than to react. It's better to not react at all. I remember doing something impulsive the day after our defense. I decided to go to Bonifacio Global City with my friends because I was so happy our product concept got approved.

It was an unexpected decision since I already told myself of getting some sleep after the defense but then I went  to Taguig. I wasn't really prepared but then I joined just to celebrate the start of semestral break. We also went to SM Aura since I haven't been there. It was reckless but I enjoyed it and I've been really planning on going to Taguig when the semester ends so it was a win-win, I think.

I remember going home at 8:30pm and not seeing my little sister and mom because they went to sleep early that day and my sister who waited for me and was watching television when I came home. I remember leaving a message to my dad after about what had happened to my day. I remember mom waking up to bed at around 11pm and checking on me if I'm already home.

Haven't blog for like years. Midterms comes to an end and I'm not really confident of what I did in the exam week. I feel like I messed my exams because of my time management and my mood. I've been feeling not so good lately. I feel like I've got more important things to do but instead I end up and doing it later because I have something else to do which is ironic because I have nothing else to do but watch TV series, eat, and sleep.

I feel like I'm always tired. Tired of my life, tired of everything. The past few weeks has been really hard for me. There was a time when I got measles and my I just can't stop scratching my body because it's really and the fever just keeps coming back and I had to take my medicine late because there's no stock of the doctor's recommended medicine in our area so I had to buy it near the school.

And then came the storm which made me even more lazy but thank God I recovered before going to school again. I really don't want to fail in any of my subjects because it's hard to repeat it all over again and I've put a lot of work into getting what I had in the Prelims. I'm such a mess. One minute I'm up, the next I'm nowhere to be found. I'm just hoping and praying for the best. 

I feel like I disappointed my parents so much. This always happens. A lot. They have been working so hard and what I did is I let all my issues swallow me. Its not even about me anymore. Its about them. Everytime I show them my grades I want them to know that I earned every points of it. Know I'm not so sure about my performance. This whole "your a senior thing" also makes me weak also.

Prelims is almost over since I still have exam next week due to delayed schedule. I still can't be at peace until I've taken all my exams. Anyways, it's a lonely Saturday night and I'm listening to Sara Bareilles' new album while blogging. I'm kinda sleepy because I had to woke up early today because of my examination schedule. That's why. But even though I'm tired I always sleep late because I can't stop watching Bleach.

Yes. I've been watching bleach for weeks now since my first download. I'm now in Season 13 and I'm almost done. Nothing much had happened to me this week since it's Prelims my schedule is quite free and guess what I didn't use it to review but to watch Bleach and other US series. Such a lazy kid. Also, I've purchased gym supplements because I'm going to start going to gym again.

My mom was pissed with this idea and she keeps on bugging me about me being lazy and all. I get that I might have the tendency to be lazy at times but then I will keep on pushing to attain my goals which is to gain weight before I have my braces. But in order to do that I need to fix my schedule and follow it. It's a good thing that my schedule this semester wasn't that much pre-occupied.

I just hope that I can follow my schedule and won't be afraid to go to gym. I'm kinda scared going to the gym because I want the gym by myself only. Lol. Selfish A-hole. So that I can concentrate on the lifting and all. Since I have my supplements there's no turning back now. I shall do my best to gain weight without sacrificing my time studying.