I love my family. I know I owe them so much, starting from the day that I was born and up until now that I was living. I thank them for taking care for me for such a very long time. I maybe stubborn, fickle-minded, bad ass but I know they always love me. The feeling of being love by your family is the very good feeling that I can have by this moment and I am blessed that I have this family.
But sometimes I ask myself, because in my early childhood age I was getting beaten up by my parents. I don't know if that is normal but I have these thing in my mind when I was a kid that I felt, the feeling of being unwanted and unloved and it hurts me so much to the point that I always say to myself that I don't deserve this kind of treatment and that I want another family, a family that could accept and love me for who I am, a family that could treat me right and will never beat me.
I kept thinking that I don't have any alliance in this family. I don't know if its just my jealousy or I'm just being intimidated by my siblings but I do really jealous because of the attention they're getting. And as for me their attention is that when they talk to me its like they are always mad at me and I just can't defend myself, its like I'm all alone in this and they don't care. I just don't feel that I belong somehow.
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